7.20.2004:
2:29 PMYou know what I hate?
Well, yeah, a lot of things. You're right. But you know what I didn't used to hate but as of yesterday really, really, really do?
No, not oatmeal.
No, not Zamphir, either. Well, yeah, I do kinda hate Zamphir, but I've always hated him. What a ridiculous person, playing pipes and bouncing around like an orangutang eating baker's chocolate. Something should be done about him. But no, I'm not referring to him, I'm referring to the steaming, festering pile of ashen, remorseless charred-out hollow embers that was once a caring, feeling United States Postal Service.
Yeah, that's right Post Office, I'm talking about YOU.
YOU, who somehow misplaced my 12 month rental payment that I paid in MARCH on my PO Box, yet somehow still allowed me access to it all this time until yesterday, when you locked it.
YOU, who held within said box the mail that was inside, among which was no less than 7 checks from outstanding invoices that I have been counting on to eat.
YOU, who employs the dastardly bitch with the 7-inch fingernails who literally held the mail in my face, waving it around in front of me while me telling me in-between loud smacks of gum in a language what could ALMOST be considered English, "I'm sorry, if your box has been locked due to non-payment, we have to return this mail to the sender," then turned around and - PLOP - dropped it right into the little bin marked "FUCK JOE."
And YOU, who took nearly 3 hours to complete this little circus, causing me to have to explain all of the above to a boss who really didn't need to hear any of this from me.
I hate you, United States Postal Service.
I hate you.
* * *
Archives
02.2003 03.2003 04.2003 05.2003 06.2003 10.2003 11.2003 12.2003 01.2004 04.2004 05.2004 06.2004 07.2004 08.2004 09.2004 10.2004 11.2004 12.2004 01.2005 02.2005 03.2005 04.2005 05.2005 06.2005 07.2005 08.2005 09.2005 10.2005 11.2005 12.2005 01.2006 02.2006 03.2006 04.2006 05.2006 06.2006 07.2006 08.2006 10.2006 11.2006 12.2006 02.2007 03.2007 04.2007 05.2007 06.2007 07.2007 08.2007 09.2007 10.2007 11.2007 12.2007 01.2008 02.2008 03.2008 04.2008 05.2008 06.2008 07.2008 08.2008 09.2008 10.2008 11.2008 12.2008 01.2009

- How To Actually Talk To Atheists (If You're Christian)
- Why Men Fist-Bump
- How to Actually Win A Fist Fight
- The Absolute Beginner's Guide To Working Out
- Notes During A Teleconference
- The Rules of the Gym

0 Comments:
Post a Comment