The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.

1.28.2005:

1:07 AM

So, I was bored tonight, and thought I'd just be silly and contact a brand new user from Mentallyincontinent.com via AIM. I had no idea what I was going to say or do, I just thought "Hey - the first user I see with an AIM name in the profile, I'm going to just say hi."

SO, as I clicked down the list of "Who's Online" on the site, Holly was the first one to have an AIM name in their profile. And this is what happened:

(I've changed the IM names to protect both the innocent (Holly) and the jerks (Joe and Jeremy) -- And thanks for being a sport, Holly :) )

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joe: this is bot. ask any question and it shall be answered. press "1" to see a numeral.

Holly: oh a robot that makes more sense

joe: *beep*

joe: I am at your command

Holly: thats nice

joe: how is the weather in your town, state or provence

Holly: fine wish it would snow more so theres no school

joe: that is good

joe: what is your favorite sporting francise

Holly: i dont like sports much

joe: yes I like them too, they are my favorite squadron.

joe: How did you hear about MentallyIncontinent.com

Holly: google the i-am-bored.com

Holly: was a link

joe: i did not understand this response please try again.

joe: How did you hear about MentallyIncontinent.com

Holly: a link at another site

joe: i understand that you found MentallyIncontinent.com through a link at another site. is this correct?

Holly: duh

joe: i did not understand this response please try again.

joe: i understand that you found MentallyIncontinent.com through a link at another site. is this correct?

Holly: yes

joe: have you ever used the real yellow pages in your local hometown?

Holly: no this is a small town and i dont have to look anything up in the phonebook

joe: i understand that you use the real yellow pages in your hometown. have you ever seen an advertisement for MentallyIncontinent.com?

Holly: no i said i DONT use the yellowpages

joe: i understand, and what did you think of the MentallyIncontinent.com advertisement in the real yellow pages in your hometown? would you rank it as "Very Good", "Good" or "Really Good"

Holly: i never saw it

joe: i did not understand this response please try again.

joe: i understand, and what did you think of the MentallyIncontinent.com advertisement in the real yellow pages in your hometown? would you rank it as "Very Good", "Good" or "Really Good"

Holly: leave me alone so i can read something funny on the website all about you and your mishaps....i feel sorry for you

Holly: goodbye

joe: i did not understand this response please try again.

Holly: bye

Holly: do u understand that?

joe: i did not understand this response please try again.

Holly: BYE

joe: I am afraid you have not answered appropriately in the time allotted. Your survey is not valid.

Holly: good

Holly: bye

joe: goodbye, and thank you for using the JoeBot!

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Then, Jeremy signed on and talked to her.

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jeremy: hey there holly, I'm an admin at mentallyincontinent.com and just saw you just conversed with our joebot, so I wanted to say hi and welcome to mentallyincontinent.com

Holly: hi

Holly: r u a robot too?

jeremy: no no

Holly: thank God

jeremy: but i am interested in your response. was your conversation with joebot "good" "great" or "I couldn't ask for anything more?"

Holly: thats interesting theres no "i hate robots" on there
ill say good

jeremy: fantastic. we're always trying to improve the joebot.

jeremy: it's not very good at dealing with people, but all of the stories you see on the site were actually generated by that robot.

Holly: uve gotta be kidding me

jeremy: it's a plug-in.

Holly: r the stories true?

jeremy: nah, they're all actually put together through random word generation, the plugin is an advanced algorythem developed to randomly build stories.

jeremy: we enter a scenario, a couple key pieces we want, and it comes up with them.

jeremy: we do have to edit a few incorrect words, but all in all, it's a pretty impressive piece of software

jeremy: though i really have no idea why it's so difficult to talk to one on one through aim.

Holly: heres a scenario: when my dad was in highschool he took a car apart and put it back together in his school and drove it down the hallway

jeremy: hah, that is quite the scenario.

jeremy: ok, well, i'm gonna run. welcome to MentallyIncontinent.com enjoy the stories. Thanks for taking the time to check out the site.

Holly: bye

jeremy: p.s. if anyone asks you how I did, please rate me high, i'm pretty sure i'm close to being fired.

Holly: why would you be fired?

jeremy: I shouldn't even be telling you this, I'd get in a lot of trouble if it got out, but joe isn't a good man. I'm actually talking to you from a small warehouse in taiwan. I've tried contacting the authorities for help, but was caught out

Holly: liar

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Then, i went back and did this:

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joe: Hello! I am JoeBot!

Holly: i know we talked before

joe: The Customer Satisfaction program at MI is in full swing now! I have been initiated to survey you about your experience with the admin: [JEREMY]

Holly: high

joe: 1) did you have an experience with the admin: [JEREMY] this day?

Holly: yes

joe: I understand that you have answered: yes.

Holly: yes

joe: 2) Would you rate your satisfaction with Jeremy as: 1) high 2) very high 3) extremely high 4) fire him now.

Holly: 3

joe: I understand that your response was 3) Fire him now.

joe: Thank you for using JoeBot!

Holly: bye

_______________

And that's when Jeremy said:

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jeremy: oh god, they're coming.

"jeremy" signed off.

* * *

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The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.

1.28.2005:

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