The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.

6.25.2006:

3:08 PM

My recipie for the best friggin' BBQ chicken breast sandwich ever:

(1) 0.5 lb chicken breast (boneless is preferred, unless you just like chewing on hallow avian bones)

(1) bottle of Stubb's Moppin' Sauce (Yellow)

(1) bottle of Stubb's Finishin' Sauce (Brown)

(There aren't multiple colors of these sauces, I only name the colors to keep you illiterate types from using the wrong stuff at the wrong time)

(1) pan

(1) stove

( [1] grill can be substituted for both pan and stove, but really, you're a net geek and you read my stuff - you shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a grill)

(15) minutes

(2) pieces of your favorite bread

Directions:

Put the pan on the stove. Turn on stove. Let pan get somewhat hot. Pat yourself on the back for not killing yourself yet.

Place chicken breast into pan. IMMEDIATELY pour liberal amount of Stubb's Moppin' Sauce (yellow) on breast (No, not YOUR breast... The chicken breast. Also, don't worry about covering both sides, if you did it right, you can just turn the breast over in the pool of sauce you just created... But don't put on too much, you don't want to have too much left over - it's a waste and that shit is expensive).

Cook the chicken breast in the sauce, stirring the sauce with the breast (but not too much with the stirring, or the meat won't cook worth a damn). You can also just scrape up sauce and dump it on top of the meat, but that's just a waste of energy.

On the pan, sauce will begin to melt and cook. Keep a small cup of water next to you while cooking, occasionally splashing a bit into the pan (a good measure is to fill the bottom of your pan about 1/8 of an inch with water when the sauce begins to burn - BEGINS TO BURN, not "turning black and setting off the fire alarm").

Make a tiny cut into the thickest part of the chicken meat - when it is BARELY pink (almost fully white), dump some of that Stubb's Finishin' Sauce (brown) on there. Cook for about 2 more mins.

Sling the brest around the remaining sauce, pick it up, and slap it on the bread (it's boring to just place it there... SLAP that damn thing on the bread, and I guarantee it'll taste better).

Throw a little cheese on there if you must, but whatever you do, don't go ruining the sandwich with vegetable matter. This is MEAT. Enjoy it for what it is, and keep those damn cucumber slices off of there.

Eat and enjoy. Leave BBQ-sauce-charred pan for wife / roommate / parents to handle.

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