5.17.2008:
Am I Broken?
11:45 PMIt's actually an honest question - is there something inside me, something fundamental, that has quit working? Am I in need of repair?
As discussed in this forum post, it's probably not gone unnoticed that I haven't written anything book-wise in nearly three weeks. And the reason why is, I've surmised, that every time I sit down to write, I go through this mental checklist of nonsense which goes like this:
Why am I writing something new? There's a perfectly good story sitting in lawyer limbo right now that I should be posting.
You're writing because that story IS in lawyer limbo, and you need to get stuff up in its stead.
Fine, but what's to stop this new thing from being cast into lawyer limbo as well?
(onset of paralysis)
Now, I know that the story that's been held up has a fairly big reason for being so, but it doesn't stop me from enacting some horrific flash-analysis of every single word I try to type. It causes these insane chains of thought that bounce from "Will this get a legal review?" to "Ok, fine, no legal review, but what if X person in the story takes exception?" to "Well, they said it was ok, but people change their minds" to "Everything I'm writing could get me sued and hated and yelled at by everyone on earth."
It's ridiculous. I mean, utterly and completely ridiculous, on many many levels. First, it's stupidly self-indulgent. Second, it's a slippery slope of stupid crap that is irrelevant and actually doesn't matter. But both of those points, and all points associated, are based in logic... And as near as I can tell, this thing I'm going through has absolutely no regard for logic or any of its trappings. It just persists regardless. And I just plain don't know how to fix it.
Labels: Joe is retarded, whiny bullshit
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5 Comments:
How to fix it? I haven't written a book so I'm not sure I can advise you, but youonce said that the cure for writer's block was to forget that people would ever read it. So I say you should just pick some random memory and write it out like a diary, and then spellcheck and post without thinking about it. If it goes to lawyer limbo then fine, at least you wrote it instead of sitting there paralyzed about it. Take your own advice and write for yourself, not the fans or the lawyers.
Besides, if the psycho 800-MUSIC chick didn't sue you for painting her in a bad light, or the bulimic blowjob gal, no one will.
Or for that matter, PeTA. Hell Wal-mart has *tried* to sue you how many times? Every time it got struck down under First Amendment.
Honestly? I think that mental checklist runs completely counter to the spirit of your work, to what makes mentally incontinent, well, mentally incontinent. You've never before had to consider the consequences of your writing - you started off with a small audience of family, friends, and yourself, and therefore never had to worry about whether or not "person X" is going to take exception to what you've written. And I think that's exactly what brought people to your site in the first place - here was an oasis of honest, raw, genuine writing published only for the sake of entertainment and not for money or a publishing deal.
I don't think you're broken, just that your priorities have shifted and might need some realignment. When you start writing for the publisher and not for yourself, something incredibly, unspeakably vital is lost. I can't tell you how much I'd rather pay for access to a liberated mentallyincontinent.com than purchase a second book filled with stunted, pandering, politically correct stories.
Just my 2 cents.
- A Fan
Joe, don't sweat it. You know what you do? Just start writing. Even if it isn't anything that's even going to end up here.
Just put your fingers on your keyboard and start typing.
Remember why you started all this. You started this to share stories. The fact that you've published a book and are working on the second is irrelevant. Just get back to what you love: Sharing stories.
Even if what you write can't be put into the book because of potential legal issues, just write it and share it.
Don't write a story. Do Not. I dare you to never write again.
/reverse psychology
Hey, how about write 2 or 3 fictional stories and one real one, and then post them all, and we have to vote on which one actually happened to you. Then if and only if the true story gets the most votes, then it will go into voting for a chapter. That way you're pressure is writing really good fiction that seems like a story from your life, but you don't have to worry about anything legal right now.
XO
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