Syndication: Validated XML RSS  |  Add to Google  |  Add to My Yahoo!  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  |  LJ   More Joe:  |  Mentally Incontinent  |  Automotivetry  |  Could I Have Made It?  

The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.

Oh, yay... The journal of an internet author and professional dork. Hope it's what you wanted when you clicked that link you clicked.

 

7.04.2008:

I don't care what the experts say...

10:04 AM

It's been one of the longest-standing military axioms in United States history - "You can't win a land war in China."

Oh yes you can. And here's why:



I've never been to war, and I've never served in an infantry unit... But I've played enough Call of Duty to know that the second someone gets behind you, and you're on a Segway, you're totally 100% FUCKED. Knife-death ahoy.

You can't run laterally. You can't sidestep. You can't twist-and-fire. You can't duck behind cover. All you can do is go forward marginally faster than you could on your own two feet.

If you DO hop off the Segway, you've got an instant obstacle in front of you. This looks to me like a damn shooting gallery on wheels.


* * *




        StumbleUpon Toolbar




3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe it's spelled segway.

7/04/2008 12:43 PM  

Blogger JtP said...

FINE if you're going to insist on correctness...

(edited to fix my stupid speeleng - thanks :) )

7/04/2008 12:47 PM  

Anonymous CallieMo said...

You forget one thing, Joe. Any opponent that takes one look at an army approaching on Segways will immediately fall on the ground laughing and peeing in their pants, thereby making them easier targets for the Segway mounted army.

At that's what would happen to me if I saw a group of people on Segways approaching me...

7/05/2008 4:59 PM  

Post a Comment




<< Home

Archives

02.2003   03.2003   04.2003   05.2003   06.2003   10.2003   11.2003   12.2003   01.2004   04.2004   05.2004   06.2004   07.2004   08.2004   09.2004   10.2004   11.2004   12.2004   01.2005   02.2005   03.2005   04.2005   05.2005   06.2005   07.2005   08.2005   09.2005   10.2005   11.2005   12.2005   01.2006   02.2006   03.2006   04.2006   05.2006   06.2006   07.2006   08.2006   10.2006   11.2006   12.2006   02.2007   03.2007   04.2007   05.2007   06.2007   07.2007   08.2007   09.2007   10.2007   11.2007   12.2007   01.2008   02.2008   03.2008   04.2008   05.2008   06.2008   07.2008   08.2008   09.2008   10.2008   11.2008  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Creative Commons License
Most Famousest:

- How To Actually Talk To Atheists (If You're Christian)

- Why Men Fist-Bump

- How to Actually Win A Fist Fight

- The Absolute Beginner's Guide To Working Out

- Notes During A Teleconference

- The Rules of the Gym

Joe's Twitter follow me on Twitter