The Journal of Joe The Peacock. Yay.: What's In The Box?

11.09.2009:

What's In The Box?

8:56 PM

So, I cut my own hair.

I know, shocker. But why the hell would I pay a barber to slap a No. 2 guard on a clippers and run it over my head when I can do that myself? Especially since I've been doing it myself since I was 16? That'd be silly, huh? So that's why I don't pay the barber. But all that money-saving I do every three weeks ends up taking its toll on the tools, and after my last haircut, my 16-year-old hair clippers bit the dust.

So while at Wal-Mart grocery shopping, I picked up this new clippers kit:

Deluxe Chrome Pro! Sounds nice, huh? And it comes with a nice leather pouch, and a bonus clipper... How great! What a fine way to spend $40 bucks! But I had JUST cut my hair, so I didn't need them right away. So I just plopped the box on the counter and let it sit there until I needed them.

And that time came last Monday. And I was actually almost giddy to use them - there's something fantastic about using new stuff, isn't there? It's exciting! I get that way about everything from these hair clippers to a new stick of deodorant. So you can imagine my immediate shock and disappointment when I opened the box and saw this:

Yeah, that thing at the bottom there? That's not a hair clippers. That's...

A Dean Koontz book. And along with it, was this bottle of Vitamin Water:

And to round it all out was a child's purse placed in the box to simulate the fine leather case that the clippers were supposed to come in:

And as a bonus, the purse was actually full of seashells:

...Yep. I got hornswaggled. I've been a victim of the old "box full o' other people's shit from where they stole the hair clippers" scam.

I feel silly. Not just because of this, but because my hair has also crossed into "shaggy" territory. I look downright unkempt. And I'm pretty sure Wal-Mart won't let me return this, given it's been so long since I bought it (and I can't find the damn receipt).

But hey... SEASHELLS!

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(Permalink)

12 Comments:

mel said...: Lamest. Unboxing. Ever.; 11/09/2009 10:10 PM
Chicken said...: The biggest insult is the Dean Koontz book. :(; 11/09/2009 10:47 PM
Jaguar said...: Reason #45673 not to shop at Walmart.; 11/10/2009 7:13 AM
Jon said...: You see, Wal-Mart is simply getting their revenge.; 11/10/2009 12:28 PM
CallieMo said...: I buzz SirGeek's hair for him (since his hair seems to grow in twenty different directions it's easier for me to do it, especially at the back/top of his head.) He used to have it done, but my stylist once said "You could do it yourself at home and save the money. It's so simple!" and pointed us to getting a better made set of clippers at the local beauty supply store. She said that the brands in the stores like Wal-Mart tend to break down or go dull really fast. The ones we get from the beauty supply store aren't any more expensive than the ones you thought you'd bought too.

And the purse...Joe, I'm getting a little worried here. This is the third purse related thing in a week. Is there something you want to tell us all? :O; 11/10/2009 12:59 PM
Troy said...: Fuck yeah, seashells!; 11/10/2009 5:23 PM
Sabra said...: Sometimes I feel like the universe singles me out for random crappy events like that. Sorry it happened to you but glad I'm not the only one!; 11/10/2009 5:27 PM
paul said...: Didn't the box feel too heavy? [shrug] On the other hand, at the store where I work it seems to be a constant thing where folks return empty boxes of that cold sore stuff and fungus stuff in the little tubes... like tubes of Blixtex in a box... but they get home and the box is empty. Nobody ever shakes the box to hear it rattle?

Take it back to Wally World. They might surprise you and give you the clippers you paid for.

And if not, well, they can throw the junk away for you.

Keep the shells. :); 11/11/2009 4:33 PM
Anonymous said...: Just take a look at peopleofwalmart.com it says it all.; 11/11/2009 9:11 PM
Anonymous said...: That is shitty...but hey at least u got a decent book lmao same thing happened to me about a year ago on some christmas lights but all I got was a bunch of candy and well I didnt need any candy so I told my wife no lights let string up the candy!; 11/13/2009 11:00 AM
Kristia said...: I happen to own that book. Dunno if it's worth what you paid for those clippers though. >_>
peopleofwalmart.com really does explain it all.; 11/19/2009 1:47 PM
Kristia said...: By the way... If that title is a reference to Se7en, you are even more awesome than I thought...; 11/19/2009 1:48 PM